Posted by: shanty | September 28, 2007


or: What It Feels Like for a Girl

or: A Slice of Life in Medfield

So last night Robbie and I were standing on my porch innocently smoking cigarettes after watching Survivor and drinking a bottle of wine (for the second night in a row) and then it happened.

This crazy woman comes stumbling down the street screaming at the top of her lungs (in a  super-slurred I’ve been drinking since 11 am voice) “John! I want my meds!! NOW!!!” As she gets closer to the bottom of my street, she crosses to the side that my house is on and goes to knock on the door of either A) the obvious crack house or B) the nice lesbians with pitbulls. We were too far away to see exactly which door it was. Whichever one, she was turned away and started walking back up the street now on my side (yay!).

While the crack house/Sappho house conundrum was occurring, a man who I can only assume was John came stumbling down the street and was kind enough to identify her as Sam. As in “Sam! What the fuck are you doing?! Bitch!”

The whole time this was going on there was thunder, lightening and a major storm approaching and all Robbie kept saying, “I hope the sky opens up right NOW!” It did start to rain, but unfortunately not until the awesomeness was over.

Eventually Sam and John made it back up the street and we didn’t see them for the rest of the evening. Kind of disappointing, but still awesome.

Which really kind of sums up living in Baltimore in general.

So, thanks Sam. You didn’t threaten me with a good time, but it was just as good!


  1. The events of this story are totally true. I love you Baltimore!

  2. My Saffo neighbours are a tad scary…their dogs seem nice though!


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